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New Endings and Old Beginings

"Have you cried over it yet?" "what?" "Have you cried over it being gone yet?" "Um, no, not yet. I am a little sad its gone, but I really like it the way it is now too." "Well, its really cute on you." I ran my fingers t…
Goodness, Gracious, Great Balls of Fire!!!

So much has happened over the past couple of years, and I must admit I've let it get to me (how could anyone not? we are human, after all). But in the process of healing, in choosing to let myself feel pain and not let m…
Baby Elephants and a High of 75

Sometimes its hard not to feel I have to impress. Although I must admit that the small amount of disconnection this lends by keeping you at just enough length that I sometimes forget your on the other side of it all s…
Spandex Free, But Still Able to Save the World

The walls had begun to peel, but had been quickly painted over again creating a thick lumpy coat of off-white and faded sage. Chalk dust saturated every inch of atmosphere and the muted voices of six year olds ping-p…
Pride Comes Before the Winter

To say today was hard would be an understatement. To say that I am completely healed is a misnomer. And to say that I ate well would be a lie. I skipped breakfast and dinner today. Though I ate snacks to try and "make up…
Taking Off the Ash-Colored Glasses

I went to my counselor for the third time yesterday (btw, I finally got some help. I'm seeing a counselor once a week), and he started talking like we wouldn't be meeting again. We are, but I have a feeling it won't be f…
The Necessary Catalyst

*voice in my head: "Just take it. Take it and suck it up. You used to be able to. You used to shrug it off and keep moving. To fake a smile and shove the pain down. Now you can't even ACT happy. What happened to you? Its…
Battles are ugly affairs

Its been a hard couple of days. Then of course, when it is not hard? But the voices have been back. I haven't had to fight them in weeks (its mostly been habits and mental purity. not looking at diet ads etc.), and they…
I laugh because I must not cry

Lets be brutally honest today, shall we? Because lets face it, I'm not perfect. And we are looking for Truth. To find truth we must get it all out. The junk, the lies, the truth, the pain, and the small stuff all must…
"Turn me around, pick me up Undo what I've become Bring me back to a place Of forgiveness and grace I need you, need your help I can't do this myself Your the only one Who can undo what I've become" So many times I find…